When you are ill....

In my view any patient goes through a lot of emotional turmoil. It may be quiet natural as well. If you are truthful enough, you may agree with me as well… Now let’s take a common sickness – Fever. Everybody would have this experience atleast once. This is not simple fever of just 2 days, but one which lasts atleast a week. Anyway fever is not the actual sickness. There may an underlying cause. Anyway let us not go into those details when the topic is all about emotional turmoil. But then physical turmoil is also a part and parcel of the whole thing.

You are going to be sick phase: Suddenly you are not feeling great. You are uncharacteristically tired. You feel feverish. It’s a wrong timing for a fever. You have loads of work to complete. You pop some paracetamol and continue working. You are loosing concentration. That Chicken biriyani, which always cheered you up, is not working. It’s tasting bad. No matter what, you have important work to finish. And miles to go before you can fall sick.

You are very sick phase: Looks like, your body has its own mind. It doesn’t really care about your work. It refuses to cooperate with you. That’s it. You have high temperature, pains and aches everywhere and you are tired. You make that dreadful visit to your doctor. Hmm… He seems happy – Another victim. He produces appropriate sounds and starts his poking and prodding. He then gives a list of tests to be done which definitely involves the needles you dread. You come back with the results. Doctor stares at the report – Grim faced. You let out a sigh which you are holding for so long. He says “Nothing to worry” and starts filling his pad with medicine names – Before food, along with food, after food, 3 times a day, twice a day and once a day… Off course there is prescribed injections to speed up the recovery process. You have no choice but to buy each of those and start eating.
You are at home, thankfully not admitted to hospital. You are surrounded with people to take care of your needs. You may enjoy it or want to be left alone. But you have nothing to do other than have medicines and eat some food to survive. The quantity of medicines you are eating is off course more than whatever food you have. Only thing you do is lie on your bed and stare into space. Not that you are seeing anything. That’s way it is. Then you have all your confusing thoughts which cloud your mind. Nothing makes sense. But you continue staring.

You are recovering phase: Your body is filled with multi-coloured tablets. You have nightmares about that. But the body has no choice other than to show some recovery. Doctor is happy that medicines are having effect. You believe that you have escaped from the mouth of torturous death. Those around you let out a sigh of relief. You still have that bad taste in your mouth. But slowly your taste buds have started working. You feel like eating something better than the stuff you were eating. Your Doctor vetoes that down. Does any patient have a choice? After all, you are playing with your health. You meekly eat what is given to you. Main thing about food is that it helps you survive. Taste is just a secondary matter. Another change is what you see in the attitude of those around you. The strength of bystanders is reducing and all those enquires are decreasing. You are upset. You are still sick and tired. Are you a burden to them? Why are they not seeing your distress? Can they see the sacrifices you are making – Eating all those medicines, having tasteless food, lying on your bed doing nothing? May be they know that you are not dying. You are upset and sad. You want to cry. May be they have work which needs immediate attention. This phase you also start reading that you always wanted or see a bit of prime time television which you always miss because you are in office. You make a decision in your mind. You have to change your lifestyle. There should be better work-life balance. You will find time to have your food on proper intervals and drink sufficient water. You won’t work like a mule.

Near Recovery Phase: You are almost there. You can do most of your things alone. You are no longer dependant on anyone. You are still having medicines which your doctor insisted on. Dosage has reduced. Your thinking is kind of streamlined. You see almost none by your side. Where are these people? Nobody wants you. You are getting bored of lying down all the time. You get up and walk around. You get tired fast. It’s all those medicines. Food tastes better now. They are giving you better food. Your colleagues come to visit you. You are not in office for more than a week. Their talks about office bring back vague memories of things to be done.

Recovered Phase: You feel a lot better. You are mostly on your own. Doctor has asked to take rest. It’s pretty boring to read books, watch television and sleep. Why are you wasting time? Robert frost comes back to your mind – Miles to go before I go sick again!
That’s it. You are up and about! You are embarrassed to think about your illness. You are back in office sorting issues – off course working 9 to 9. You also start forgetting about those decisions made about changing your lifestyle. What was that about work-life balance. You may need another fever to bring back that memory.