Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Anniversary gifts

I was deciding what to buy and stumbled upon the below url.

This site talks about the modern and traditional gifts which can be given to your partner from your first anniversary through 100th anniversary! Oh God! Thats what I thought when I saw it... I compiled the same and putting it down for all of you!

1st Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Paper
Modern Gifts: Clocks

2nd Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Cotton
Modern Gifts: China

3rd Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Leather
Modern Gifts: Crystal

4th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Fruit or Flowers
Modern Gifts: Appliances

5th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Wood
Modern Gifts: Silverware

6th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Candy or Iron
Modern Gifts: Wood

7th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Wool or Copper
Modern Gifts: Desk Sets

8th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Bronze or Pottery
Modern Gifts: Linens or Lace

9th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Pottery and Willow
Modern Gifts: Leather

10th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Tin or Aluminum
Modern Gifts:Diamond Jewelry

11th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Steel
Modern Gifts: Fashion Jewelry

12th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Silk or Linen
Modern Gifts: Pearls

13th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Lace
Modern Gifts: Textiles or Furs

14th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Ivory
Modern Gifts: Gold Jewelry

15th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Crystal
Modern Gifts: Watches

16th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: None
Modern Gifts: Silver Holloware

17th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Furniture

18th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Porcelain

19th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Bronze

20th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: China
Modern Gifts: Platinum

21st Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Brass or Nickel

22nd Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Copper

23rd Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Silver Plate

24th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Musical Instruments

25th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Silver
Modern Gifts: Silver

26th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Original Pictures

27th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Sculpture

28th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Orchids

29th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Furniture

30th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Pearl
Modern Gifts: Diamond

31st Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Time Pieces

32nd Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Conveyances

33rd Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Amethyst

34th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Opal

35th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Coral
Modern Gifts: Jade

36th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Bone China

37th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Alabaster

38th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Beryl or Tourmaline

39th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Lace

40th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Ruby
Modern Gifts: Ruby

41st Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Land

42nd Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Improved Real Estate

43rd Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Travel

44th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Groceries

45th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Sapphire
Modern Gifts: Sapphire

46th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Original Poetry

47th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Books

48th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Optical Goods

49th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Luxuries

50th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Gold
Modern Gifts: Gold

52nd Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Ruby

55th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Emerald
Modern Gifts: Emerald

60th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Yellow Diamond
Modern Gifts: Diamond

65th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Star Sapphire, Gray

67th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Star Sapphire, Purple

75th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Diamonds, Diamond Like Stones, Gold
Modern Gifts: Diamond, Gold

80th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Diamond, Pearl

85th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Diamond, Sapphire

90th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Diamond, Emerald

95th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: Diamond, Ruby

100th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: none
Modern Gifts: 10K Diamond

I am not sure if I will have a 100 years of married life, but surely this list has interested me. Lot of years, there is no traditional gift. May be, people never celebrated them:-)
But I want to celebrate each one of them and I hope that others also wish to...

Marriage and anniversary

I got married in May and this year we will complete 2 years of married life and togetherness... As usual I am thinking of a perfect gift for him, which definitely makes me do a lot of research. Research results in so much information which may be useful and interesting. Suddenly I thought of all those people who may be in the same boat as me and looking for similar data. Hmm! why shouldn't they benefit from my efforts and what is the best way to help them? Put it together in my blog!!!

So here I am to find and share some interesting info on marriage and anniversaries.

Married in...
What month of the year did you marry in? Below is a rhyme from popular folklore which says that your marriage will take certain characteristics depending upon the month you chose to get married. What do you say?

January - Marry when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind and true.
February - When February birds do mate, you wed nor dread your fate.
March - If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll know.
April- Marry in April if you can, joy for maiden and for man.
May - Marry in the month of May, you will romance the day.
June - Marry when June roses grow and over land and sea you'll go.
July - Those who in July do wed must labour for their daily bread.
August - Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see.
September - Marry in September's shine so that your life is rich and fine.
October - If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry.
November - If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember!
December - When December's snows fall fast, marry and your love will last.

What to get married again in a month more suitable to your needs? I am sure that I dont want to change the month of my marriage!!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

It made my heart bleed

Sometimes, I feel that those eyes still haunt me... Those little hands, which bear many scars from the past, hold me back... I can say it broke the tranquility of the "normal" world I lived in and worked for... My world talked about having no strings attached, no relation deep enough to touch my heart and make space for itself. I was scared that my world was changing... I had my plans well set for future - What I want in next 2 years or five years or 10 years... I saw the picture changing - Nothing was so important than wiping those eyes brimming with tears... I was no longer sure what I really wanted...

That was a rainy May afternoon. Rain was falling in its own rhythm... May be it reflected my mood! A visit, which I cannot forget. As always I steeled my mind and heart not to see pain beneath the smiles. I did not want to see because it hurts so much to feel with someone... and cry those silent tears for someone and feel that immense pain in your heart. Every cause I worked for - Let it be the suicide cell or women's cell or orphaned children - it gave me pain. May be it helped me to forget my little pains in comparison with their bigger ones... Though I tried to think of it as a bartering, it was never one. I never had anything to barter with the pain... It was just my heart and my words which I had to offer or a promise to bear their pain. Everytime I moved or worked for a new cause, I thought I have seen enough and I can handle it. But your thoughts are far from reality! It was almost four years that I kept away from front-ending saying that I am too busy with my life.

The last cause I worked with was an easier one... Education of Slum children - Detachment with their reality was a far easier one as you see them in sophisticated surroundings twice a week in their best dresses. And, I had support to carry it out from my closest friend... I had a shoulder to cry on and feel sure that somebody understood what I am talking about. It gave me strength to spend time with desolate elderly in Agathimandiram. Whenever I was in doubt, he was there to support, tell me that there is nothing wrong in crying and feeling for someone. Once he left, I told myself - Its time to live for myself. I did not involve myself in any cause other than by providing monetary support. I told myself I have done enough. Moreover money is something they want and I am giving it. I hid myself well in my "normal" world. I was too busy in acting out a new drama... Till that day, fate made me volunteer for Project Prerna. I thought, this is again an easy one - Computer Education for Under-privileged Girl children.

Though I was a core committee member, I avoided front-ending. I did planning, coordination, collection. I convinced myself that it is enough for now. After all I am busy in the weekdays with work and weekends with friends...Didn't I deserve that much? I had endless reasons to skip the visits till I ran out of excuses on that fateful May day! Even now, I cant explain the stomach pain or the headache I felt that day. I felt, it is my judgment day. I tried to brush of that uneasy feeling. I told myself - This is nothing! But was I really prepared to hide behind that thick shell I surrounded me with? Did I not realise that a pair of eyes and a very thin hand was enough to break my shell? May be I did not see the futility in trying to hide!

As soon as I reached Navajeevana, I tried my best to steel myself and put on that mask with a plastic smile. I slowly realised that smile was fading and it did not have any heart. We all sat down with the kids... I tried to listen to chatter in languages I can understand but cant say a meaningful sentence. Shilpa was talking to them about the agenda and I realised slowly that somebody is sitting on my legs and another person is sitting close to me and my hands were holding them. They adopted me or I adopted them...I am not sure till today. The one sitting on my lap was practically weightless and her hands were like the those of a praying mantis or some creature like that. It was covered with scars, looked like burns...Her body was so hot and it was burning me. The other one sitting next to me looked a bit better other than for the still open bruises which she was picking on...

I did not realise that the comfort I got from holding them was much more than what they got for me... Never thought that I will feel the same pain which drilled me years before. I did not utter a word during the entire session though Shilpa tried to prompt me. May be I did not trust myself to say something and Shilpa understood. I could not eat anything though I had just one glass of juice in the whole day. My kids tried to feed me with their piece of cake, but I thought I will throw up. It may be the pent up sadness of all these years...Or the helplessness I felt... I knew I had 2 choices - Run as far as I can and never turn back or Do a little something for them and share their pain. My confused mind was again playing games... Or may be I did not have any choice.

It was time to say bye... I fingers were in their hands... Those thin hands were like the strongest iron chain ever made in this world... I told them that I will be back, though I was not sure if I can stand the pain. May be they sensed the doubt, uncertainty and fear in my eyes and did not leave my hand... I saw tears in those woeful eyes. I knew I had no choice... Shilpa understood my plight and called the sister. I didn't know whether I wanted to let go those hands... I told Shilpa outside - " I will not come here again. I don't want to." She simply smiled... And I knew that those eyes will haunt me, but still I thought I can go ahead with my life forgetting them if I want to... But the coming week told me - I have no choice! Or may be I never wanted to forget!

Friday, May 11, 2007

When you are ill....

In my view any patient goes through a lot of emotional turmoil. It may be quiet natural as well. If you are truthful enough, you may agree with me as well… Now let’s take a common sickness – Fever. Everybody would have this experience atleast once. This is not simple fever of just 2 days, but one which lasts atleast a week. Anyway fever is not the actual sickness. There may an underlying cause. Anyway let us not go into those details when the topic is all about emotional turmoil. But then physical turmoil is also a part and parcel of the whole thing.

You are going to be sick phase: Suddenly you are not feeling great. You are uncharacteristically tired. You feel feverish. It’s a wrong timing for a fever. You have loads of work to complete. You pop some paracetamol and continue working. You are loosing concentration. That Chicken biriyani, which always cheered you up, is not working. It’s tasting bad. No matter what, you have important work to finish. And miles to go before you can fall sick.

You are very sick phase: Looks like, your body has its own mind. It doesn’t really care about your work. It refuses to cooperate with you. That’s it. You have high temperature, pains and aches everywhere and you are tired. You make that dreadful visit to your doctor. Hmm… He seems happy – Another victim. He produces appropriate sounds and starts his poking and prodding. He then gives a list of tests to be done which definitely involves the needles you dread. You come back with the results. Doctor stares at the report – Grim faced. You let out a sigh which you are holding for so long. He says “Nothing to worry” and starts filling his pad with medicine names – Before food, along with food, after food, 3 times a day, twice a day and once a day… Off course there is prescribed injections to speed up the recovery process. You have no choice but to buy each of those and start eating.
You are at home, thankfully not admitted to hospital. You are surrounded with people to take care of your needs. You may enjoy it or want to be left alone. But you have nothing to do other than have medicines and eat some food to survive. The quantity of medicines you are eating is off course more than whatever food you have. Only thing you do is lie on your bed and stare into space. Not that you are seeing anything. That’s way it is. Then you have all your confusing thoughts which cloud your mind. Nothing makes sense. But you continue staring.

You are recovering phase: Your body is filled with multi-coloured tablets. You have nightmares about that. But the body has no choice other than to show some recovery. Doctor is happy that medicines are having effect. You believe that you have escaped from the mouth of torturous death. Those around you let out a sigh of relief. You still have that bad taste in your mouth. But slowly your taste buds have started working. You feel like eating something better than the stuff you were eating. Your Doctor vetoes that down. Does any patient have a choice? After all, you are playing with your health. You meekly eat what is given to you. Main thing about food is that it helps you survive. Taste is just a secondary matter. Another change is what you see in the attitude of those around you. The strength of bystanders is reducing and all those enquires are decreasing. You are upset. You are still sick and tired. Are you a burden to them? Why are they not seeing your distress? Can they see the sacrifices you are making – Eating all those medicines, having tasteless food, lying on your bed doing nothing? May be they know that you are not dying. You are upset and sad. You want to cry. May be they have work which needs immediate attention. This phase you also start reading that you always wanted or see a bit of prime time television which you always miss because you are in office. You make a decision in your mind. You have to change your lifestyle. There should be better work-life balance. You will find time to have your food on proper intervals and drink sufficient water. You won’t work like a mule.

Near Recovery Phase: You are almost there. You can do most of your things alone. You are no longer dependant on anyone. You are still having medicines which your doctor insisted on. Dosage has reduced. Your thinking is kind of streamlined. You see almost none by your side. Where are these people? Nobody wants you. You are getting bored of lying down all the time. You get up and walk around. You get tired fast. It’s all those medicines. Food tastes better now. They are giving you better food. Your colleagues come to visit you. You are not in office for more than a week. Their talks about office bring back vague memories of things to be done.

Recovered Phase: You feel a lot better. You are mostly on your own. Doctor has asked to take rest. It’s pretty boring to read books, watch television and sleep. Why are you wasting time? Robert frost comes back to your mind – Miles to go before I go sick again!
That’s it. You are up and about! You are embarrassed to think about your illness. You are back in office sorting issues – off course working 9 to 9. You also start forgetting about those decisions made about changing your lifestyle. What was that about work-life balance. You may need another fever to bring back that memory.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Another Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day - Another day to argue if we need another day to celebrate. If you ask me or anyone who is in love, everyday is a Valentines's day.... You can celebrate it everyday in all possible ways... But then, we all lead a very busy life... We dont have time to stop and think... Then how will we celebrate it everyday? Impossible!
Its nice to philosophise... But what about practicality? If you dont have time to stop and smile at each other in between your responsibilities, You need a day - Atleast once a year! Spare a few moments, or may be hours if you can to stop, think and appreciate those people whom we have in our life... Who makes our life a bit easier to live through. May be we should find that much time for them. Aren't they worth our time...?
For me, seeing a smile on his face, gives me happiness. If I am the reason for that smile, I can live forever with just that. I love to bring little pleasant surprices into our life together, which makes it more beautiful to look at. I can work so hard for that. May be that is what love is.

Monday, January 08, 2007

NewYear Resolutions

Hmm... Should I make some new resolutions... And forget it after a few days? Or stick on with those old resolutions which were stopped midway? May be I should make a resolution that I will keep my resolutions....
I have a lot of choices... I have a huge list of things which I would like to work on... From reducing weight to getting up in the morning to working on my temper... Hmm... May be this long list is scaring me off!!!
But then another thought came to my mind... Why cant I start working on one issue at a time and why wait for a new year to make resolutions. I can start changing myself at any point of time... Today is the best time anyway!

Thursday, October 26, 2006


A word not said
A promise not kept
A vow not taken
A world not built
A dream not fulfilled
A hope died down
Can it bring so much pain?
Can it bring new tears?
Can it hurt so much?
And bring many regrets?

A poem which I wrote... Its life... It sure will have regrets...about all possible things... in all possible ways.. But then, most important point is how you handle it! If you handle it right you come out as a winner in the long run... If not you stay with just that point and continue living in past...